Sunday, June 29, 2008

stupid, everytime i hear the song i feel sad. it reminds me of ur blog, and alot of other things. it's so hard for things to become normal between us, what am i thinking abt again?

Friday, June 27, 2008

oh man, i just finished like 14 hours of hardcore gaming man. can't believe it. i think i started playing at 12+ in the afternoon until now! and i only got up to eat dinner, bathe and go toilet. wahahah this is how life should be during holidays man. oops!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

y am i still so tired after like 3 days of rest?!!!!! arugh, and i better go for a run tml. playing ace on wed, damn it. i just cut my hair and i tot it looked pretty cool. hahaha.

and i just found out that povan's attached?! wahahah actually it's not v surprising. lol.

jod & i concluded in sydney that we like mysterious ppl. case closed.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

i'm heading for sydney in 9 hrs' time!! yay, it's like my second trg trip in my entire life, damn sad can... i hope this trip will be fun, and we'll train hard & play hard tog!! but i wun forget viv, weizhen & peiqin in sg....hahah shall get smt nice for them.



and i'm supposed to wake up at like 515?? ZZZZZZZZ i got this bad feeling that i forgot to pack smt. damn.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

ok, i've decided NOT to think abt club for the time being. it's time to focus on the competition. and i really hope to win at least one 'player of the match' title by the end of ayc man. i've never gotten it b4, hahah not even in hc. damn sad. this is the sad life of shooters...everyone praises u when u win by large scorelines, but if u lose, the coach will say the shooters didn't finish it off. it'll never be the case that defenders did not defend hard enough or midcourt did not make enough movements.

and i hope viv doesn't regret her decision on gg to sneakers. ultimately, jiao lian will want to groom her to become much better than what she was b4. that's the amount of faith i have in him. but i hope i don't let my personal issues affect her decision. cos i also switched clubs, and we both made the same switch. but i never, and will never regret my decision.

Monday, June 09, 2008

kailing says it's normal and common to feel this way. ok, i felt really alot better after talking to her. she understands where i'm coming from...so i hope she won't kill me if i really decide not to play anymore. seniors are stepping down, i really want to move up. i really want to play with yas again, like the good old hc days. but then, i tink my mind's telling me not to. it's like when susan, jenny, j9 or peilin is not ard, i get to play wif yas all the time during trgs. but when it comes to games, everything changes. i wanted to tell kailing it's not abt jiao lian's scoldings, i've learnt to become immune to it. it's abt the hope of wanting to start the game.

now i really dun feel like gg back to play for club. i duno y but maybe i'm just escaping from it? this year's force team is a gd team...like even though the ppl are young, but they try to accomodate one another or smt? i duno, that's the feeling i get when i read kailing's blog. oh well, seems like they really love one another, so i guess they won't need me anyway. i'm not trying to sound like a sour grape but sometimes, i rather spend my time doing something else more meaningful really. i've alr said i won't play daisy tan, maybe now i won't even play national league. if force could make it to the finals or even win blaze, i really think they don't need me anymore next year. the young shooters are coming up fast and that's a gd thing for sneakers. i shuld take a step back alr.

the year that u played for 21s, did u feel this way too? i guess so, if i didn't rem wrongly....u said smt like i was lucky to be playing for sneakers. but maybe u wun feel it as strongly as me cos u were 'under-utilised' then. hah. u must have been glad to go back to sneakers. i duno. i'm confused. and i hope viv plays internal league if she can, even if i may not play.

why am i feeling this way man. i haven't been happy at club trgs, maybe cos things dun really work out. or maybe cos i feel foreign there. maybe i'll just let it be. slowly when time passes, they won't notice that i'm not around anymore.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

on a sidenote, geri's party was quite fun. hahaha had a fun time meeting up wif my ex-hc classmates....and glad to see everyone doing so well now. and maybe wad geri said was true, it's time to move away from netball and do smt related to work alr. i can't see my future in opens, the shooters are all so god damn young. aiya, i dun mind if lisa converts me lor....i'll be willing to train hard.

and i saw sheena's bf! omg damn funny..hahah but he looks like a nice guy so gd thing for her man! hahahaha. fish, we must jiayou oso! wahahahah. whatever la huh, r/s are sometimes so mafan.

hahah j9 is seriously damn funny...suddenly came to ask me abt today's game. and i can understand where she was coming from when she told me the danger of gossip. sigh, y can't teams be free from politics? just train and play tog la...y must gossip abt certain club or ppl?

and she told me i'll be promoted soon cos the seniors are stepping down....i told her i don't want lor. what for train so hard then in the end get benched? it has been like that for 2 years alr. i love playing for 21s this year cos the team is great and u can feel as if the team needs u? like everyone is important and capable to take the court anytime. it's funny, but playing competitively for sneakers always makes me feel like shit. i don't feel motivated seriously. i just go on court when the coach tells me to.

like what minjia told me, it's like i've woken up this year. and this is precisely the reason y i dun wan to play daisy tan next year. firstly, i hate playing carnivals, secondly, don't make me play those unimportant games only. i don't want to sub ppl only when they're injured or not playing well. that was the case for the previous 2 years and the feeling fucking suxs. i come for almost all trgs and i dun even rem those times that i started main lineup whenever there's yas & peilin ard. the worst was this year's daisy tan lor. i might as well skip the round 2. i played like all the surely win games. sorry man but i've got my player's pride as well. i don't mind getting benched, but it was too much for me. at least in 21s, i get to start main sometimes and i think it is this exposure that made me wake up. maybe i need to thank mh for this....HAHAHHAHAHA.

no more nationals next year, i'll miss my current form. damn it.

and fuck, i'm damn sian we lost to force. if only my shots went through, if only i stayed focused...why is it always so easy to blame it on the shooters, as j9 says. hahaha.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

hahah, i wanted to blog last nite one but i ended up talking to tina till 4+!!wah lau...hahaha but tina's cleared for sydney (signey, lol inside joke). YAY!!!!!

we're playing force later. i guess this is probably the first and hopefully last time that i'll play against sneakers. still, as what viv says, just play the game and don't think so much. I WANT TO WIN. even without peiqin, anna or frowny.

and i haf alot of things to carry when i go to geri's party later. TMD.


WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN WIN

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

yay i sold my silver fat psp!! haha and i'm getting the psp slim wif 8gb memory stick!! hahaha, ok i really waste money but at least i can use my pay to offset it. WAHAHAHA.

but, i dun really quite bear to part wif my fat psp, hahaha.....stupid.

and i hope christina gets gd results for her mri scan tml!! prepared for the worst, hope for the best.